Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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