you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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