my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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