Fuck appropriateness.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
