you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
