so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
