She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
