so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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