There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
