are you so shy because you have an std?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
