Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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