i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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