This is not my ceiling
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm at about main and main street
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
