we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
