Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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