its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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