I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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