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all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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