Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
