Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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