I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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