So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
