I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
