are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
