i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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