i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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