I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
