My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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