I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
