R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
