OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
