i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
