There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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