I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
