I hope mine doesn't look like that
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
