i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
