maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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