You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
