I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
