I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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