Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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