Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
