Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
