I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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