Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
