Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
