The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
