I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
