oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i have herpe
just one?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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