it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
