you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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