I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
