plz talk dirty to me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
